Monday, January 14, 2013

Virginia Government Official Employees Notice - Perfect Side Business With Tax Payer Support

If you are an official in a local, town or county government position in the state of Virginia, we have the perfect business for you.  Tax payer supported and locality code requirements if so desired to be added to ensure success of your new enterprise.

  Start an animal crematorium.  Get together with other local officials and invest in this concept.  We recommend you get together with your zoning commissioner, county or local government employed attorney, animal control officers and anyone else you need to make the business a success.  Every county should have one of these.  Why not profit from state law?  In Virginia one of the state laws spells out how to properly get rid of dead companion animals.    § 3.2-6554. Disposal of dead companion animals.
The owner of any companion animal shall forthwith cremate, bury, or sanitarily dispose of the animal upon its death. If, after notice, any owner fails to do so, the animal control officer or other officer shall bury or cremate the companion animal, and he may recover on behalf of the local jurisdiction from the owner his cost for this service.

  So what is sanitarily disposing of an animal anyway?  It's not spelled out so it does not exist.  Create a county, city or town ordinance that gets rid of the term, sanitary leaving only two choices.  Burial and cremation.  Think creatively to get people to see how burial may not be in their best interest as it may come back to haunt them under soil contamination laws.  

§ 18.2-510. Burial or cremation of animals or fowls which have died.

When the owner of any animal or grown fowl which has died knows of such death, such owner shall forthwith have its body cremated or buried or request such service from an officer or other person designated for the purpose. If the owner fails to do so, any judge of a general district court, after notice to the owner if he can be ascertained, shall cause any such dead animal or fowl to be cremated or buried by an officer or other person designated for the purpose. Such officer or other person shall be entitled to recover of the owner of every such animal or fowl that is cremated or buried the actual cost of the cremation or burial and a reasonable fee to be recovered in the same manner as officers' fees are recovered, free from all exemptions in favor of such owner. Any person violating the provisions of this section shall be guilty of a Class 4 misdemeanor.

Nothing in this section shall be deemed to require the burial or cremation of the whole or portions of any animal or fowl which is to be used for food or in any commercial manner.
This section shall not apply to any county until the governing body thereof shall adopt the same.

The above is a link to a Virginia Department of Environmental Quality PDF discussing issues with disposing of dead animals as well and the growing problems faced by Virginians.  Worried about how all this may look to your constituents?  No problem.  Put your share of the business in a trust or family member name.  Is there legal precedence for this already in Virginia?  Yes there is.  Jeff Stillman of Gloucester County Animal Control already owns one and the county has not considered it to be a conflict of interest.  Legal precedence set.

  Also, what you learn from the PDF above is how to create local ordinances that require cremation in your locality.  Part of why you need your planning commissioner on board with you.  This is not a joke.  We are looking into the best ways to buy a crematorium business and will cover that in a coming article.  There are other benefits for owning a crematorium as well.  Document disposal.  Certain forms of hazardous waste disposal.  We are sure you can come up with plenty of more ways to use the business.  Plus you now have a retirement business and you are doing your community a service which is tax payer supported.

  Why you want your animal control and local policing authorities on board.  Every dead animal found along the road sides can be county ordinance coded that cremation is the only option and at the expense of the locality hence, at the tax payer's expense that guarantees your income.  Doctors and other professionals have been doing this for decades.  Why should you be left out.?  Before you throw this to the air, wait, there is more.  Think of all the extra business you can pick up by making it mandatory for the animal care providers to use cremation to maintain proper licensing in your area.  Have a local animal shelter?  Same there as well. Cremation is made mandatory for the shelter as well.

  Stay tuned for up coming articles along these lines.

Disclaimer:  This is a fictitious business proposal to show the absurdity of real life events that presently exist in Gloucester County, Virginia. 

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